The Corrections
Yesterday's front-page article, about the increase in the number of Americans living in poverty, misquoted President Bush. He did not say, "Blessed are the poor," but "Better you than me."
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In Thursday's edition, a reference to Hillary Clinton should have read, "the Senator from New York," not "Miss Bossy-Boots."
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An article yesterday referred incorrectly to the American electorate as "bone-headed." It should have read "they have a tendency to be lemming-like."
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An article in the Business Today section misstated the mission of the Anti-Spam Task Force. Its goal is not to ban Internet advertising but rather to "save children from having to eat that weird meat in tins."
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Because of an editing error, a television review of the new sit-com Hell, We're All Related failed to point out that the sit-com is to television what the Pinto was to car safety.
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A report in yesterday's Let's Go to the Movies column about the opening grosses failed to point out that "a fool and his money are soon parted."
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Tuesday's article about renewed criticism of the administration's handling of intelligence before the Iraq war misquoted a source inside the White House. The source did not say to "Blame it on Rio," but rather to "Blame it on the bossa nova."
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A recent architecture review, which despaired over "the tyranny of the strip mall," neglected to mention that there are some very good sushi restaurants next to 7-11s.
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The obituary of scientist Mel Cooney erroneously credited him with inventing the steamboat, the mousetrap, and penicillin. He did, however, invent the plastic packaging of the six-pack.
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A report in the Around Town column accidentally put a Nobody's name into boldface. Courtney O'Neill, of Flushing, shouldn't have been mentioned at all. She merely ended up with tickets to the premiere because her son-in-law works for Miramax.
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A pop review in the TGIF section about the rock band Portnoy's Complaint incorrectly referred to them as a "garage band." They actually rehearse in their Uncle Lenny's rec room.
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A pop review on Tuesday about a Britney Spears concert noted her "naturally perky breasts." It should have read "unnaturally perky."
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Saturday's article about changes in network news misidentified the CBS newscaster who was a former swimsuit model. It was Lara Logan, not Andy Rooney.
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A dance reviewer in Wednesday's paper should not have admitted that she "doesn't get dance."
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The front page headline declaring that Pearl Harbor had been bombed was so fifty-two years ago.
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A report in yesterday's Let's Go to the Movies column misidentified Courtney Love as an actress.
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An article on May 12 about the Pope's trip to Romania incorrectly stated his religion. The Pope is Catholic.
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An article on March 13 incorrectly identified who was buried in Grant's Tomb. It was Ulysses S. Grant.
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The Corrections suggests you take our publication with a grain of salt.
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The Corrections would prefer that, like Santa Claus making a list, our writers would check it twice.
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The Corrections is not saying that she's always correct. The Corrections is merely aspiring to correctness. As The Corrections' mother used to say: you never get a second chance to make a first impression.
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The Corrections is merely pointing out that the world is a little sloppy.
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The Corrections would prefer that there were no corrections. But what are the odds of that?
--Wendy MacLeod is Kenyon's James Michael Playwright-in-Residence and a frequent contributor to the Bulletin. Her play Things Being What They Are will open at The Bay Street Theater in May. Her new play Birnham Woods will premiere next fall at The Magic Theater in San Francisco.
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