Sound Bites

"I think that intelligent design is blasphemy, because creatures are imperfect; then God would be inept, sadistic, and an abortionist. Evolution explains God's creation in a better light. This is Darwin's gift to religion and this is why I've written this book." - Evolutionary biologist and University of California professor Francisco J. Ayala in a campus lecture titled after his book Darwin's Gift to Science and Religion. Ayala, who trained for the Catholic priesthood, uses his book to reconcile religion and science.

"Pepper spray might be dangerous, but it will be used judiciously. Just like prescription drugs-they have side effects, but they cure millions of people. We have to accept the side effects to protect our security guards and our students."-Assistant Director of Residential Life Bryan Shelangoski at a campus debate on whether campus safety officers at Kenyon should carry pepper spray

"Funny, arrogant male looking for equally funny but less arrogant female. I am twenty-one years old, so I can legally drink without adult supervision. I like to sleep around sixteen to eighteen hours a day, similar to a common dog. I am extremely good looking. My hair has not been combed since the 1990s so as to indicate a general lack of care in life." -Tom Geiger '09 in the Collegian classifieds "Looking for Love on Valentine's Day"

"Refrain from wearing furs and/or festive holiday antlers outside of the village unless they be adorned with small bells." -Brown Family Environmental Center manager David Heithaus '99 in a December 2008 e-mail alerting the campus to be safe during hunting season