Campus Safety's Stash

Dude. Campus Safety does routinely end up in possession of drugs and paraphernalia and keeps them in an evidence locker the size of a closet. "It's what we keep 'til a case is adjudicated," said Bob Hooper, director of Campus Safety, who noted that the locker rarely fills up. Usually the non-ingestible contraband goes into the trash compactor. The biggest item to reside in evidence: a six-foot bong. The oddest, Hooper said, was a full set of men's and women's clothes found together in an academic building.

The building was empty.

On the subject of drugs, Campus Safety has something in common with students: it isn't allowed to keep them either.

"It's illegal for us to have (drugs) as well," Hooper said, "being as we're not law enforcement."

And so when it ends up in possession of a substantial amount of anything, enter the Knox County sheriff, who, Hooper said, works with the Drug Enforcement Agency and Environmental Protection Agency to have a controlled burn of illicit substances once a year. But there are no backroom campus bonfires that turn safety staff into Spicoli tumbling out of the van.

For lesser amounts, Hooper and his staff have their own disposal protocol.

"We flush it," he said.

The john in the men's room does the trick. Two officers watch the contraband swirl away so that the disposal is properly documented.

Let the rumors about the hallucinogenic water supply begin.