The Hot Sheet

Good Sex: Student sponsors for "Take Back the Night" invited the campus to write poems, notes, and letters about positive sexual experiences. The anonymous submissions were hung on the upside-down tree outside of Ransom Hall. Observers thought the tree was smokin', calling to mind the words of Woody Allen: "If you smoke after sex, you're doing it too fast."

Random Complaining: The Collegian began a forum for "Quick Complaints," a column giving students thirty words or fewer to bitch about random topics. One of our faves: "Falling etiquette—no one knows how to act when they fall or they watch someone else fall ... we need more open discourse about falling." —Natalie Karic '12

Mad Men: Kenyon men are sporting big black plastic eyeglass frames inspired by the popular television series Mad Men. Let's hope they never draw inspiration from Charlie Sheen in Two and a Half Men.

Raccoon Dinners: Collegian photo editor David Hoyt '14 traveled to Danville, Ohio, and wrote a review of the Lions Club raccoon dinner. He said access to fresh raccoon makes Kenyon distinctive—unless, as he quipped, the University of Alabama features it as a menu staple. Highly plausible.

Jonathan Franzen: Novelist Jonathan Franzen was the speaker for Kenyon's 183rd Commencement. The writer, who also gave a reading at the College in the spring semester, is the uncle of Eric T. Franzen '11.

Fake Reporting: The Collegiate, a mock version of the Collegian, entertains with wit and vulgarity. One fake story, reporting on a student's dismal poetry reading, said the poems were met with a silence so profound that one could hear a teacher upstairs clipping her fingernails. Fellow students were so appalled that one wept on the phone with her pastor for an hour. Another claimed the poet should suffer quietly in hell. Amen.

Anonymous Flirting: Students are enjoying anonymous fun at likealittle.com, a Web site promising "high-quality flirting." One student posted her affection for a guy in Peirce Dining Hall by declaring "if only I could be that bagel."

Food Rhymes: The Village Inn restaurant sponsored a Valentine's Day poetry contest via Facebook. Rachel Oscar '11 won dinner for her entry:
Call me Liz Lemon,
cuz I like night cheese
Eat it out the can with
my main squeeze
I'm so hungry it should
be illegal
Give me that cheese—it's my
precious, I'm Smeagol